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It's Up To Me

I really didn't find a place I feel like home still.
It feels so temporary when it is with me.
Perhaps, I've been overly dazzled with the ways and their options,
and had forgot I just have been passing by them, not fixing myself anywhere.

It explains a lot my situation,
but I don't know if it's true.

I see the world and my biggest fear is loneliness.
Yes, again the loneliness, my recurrent theme, my usual cliche.
I see the world and what I see is so many people!
Billions of people.
Babies, and boys, and adults, and ancients...
And dead people.

So... what the hell am I talking about loneliness?
Believe me, it's fucking worse to feel lonely
when you know how big is the world.

Another day goes by.
Again, I didn't do everything I had to do.
But I did my best to save me, to find me, to fix me.
Coz I know it's up to me.

(Júlio B.)